Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
