I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
