I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize