I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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