I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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