I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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