O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
