he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
