I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
