In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
