Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
