i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
organizing the empties. That sober.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
