I want to walk on stilts...naked
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
