Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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