so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
