U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
