I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
