New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
