I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
