I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Randomize
