So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
