We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
