So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
