Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
