I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
