Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
