You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
