hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
