Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
