how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
