Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
