She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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