ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
ttyl tear gas
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Let's get the cat blown out
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
