So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
