jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
