We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
