you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
