I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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