We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it was like eating out sand paper
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
