Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
