Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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