Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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