That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
