I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
