I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
