i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
