btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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