Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
