Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
