You're a womanizer and a bitch.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
