you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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