I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
